Dreams of a Monster
by Lovely-Viper-Venom
Summary: Anko has dreams rather conflicting with her present beliefs. So what can she do about it? A oneshot of her feelings, past and thoughts.


I have no explanation for why I made this one shot...just the idea kept nagging until I got it wrote. I am not happy with my blunt explanation and stream of conscience, so I may rewrite. However! It is a sick story, has adult themes and such. But! Whoever likes angst, twisted stuff...PLEASE review and tell me thoughts! Thanks!

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The night was so calm and peaceful. Serene as the moon hung in the sky with full, luminous brilliance. There was no cold chill this night, just a still and favorable temperature. However, this rare and mystical beauty would be missed by the kunoichi Anko. Nightmares occupied her mind and rattled her senses. In her bed, she writhed and spoke incoherent words while the boogeyman of her dreams visited once again. Sad it was for anyone who's past experiences were daily nightmares...

She remembered running down a dirt trail within the forest. Running with no idea where to go but from the person chasing. Anywhere but back to that boogeyman. Thick and strong monsters quickly caught up however and binded, trapping poor Anko. This must be how prey felt, Anko had thought as her heart raced at incredible speeds, and her muscles refused to do anything to aid in escape. Tears begin to sting her cheeks as she saw that man coming for her, that scary man who even adults had fear stocked into. No matter how much the poor, young girl struggled those damn coils would not loosen, bonding her to predator who now was only steps away. What she felt then...that overwhelming respect and fear...somehow transitioned into a kind of adoration. Bind me, she thought. As long as it's me and no one else. Whatever attention Anko could get, she would take and even if it meant...this.

This fear generated submission as it does in many cases of human life and understanding. This feeling is sometimes taken a step further. The worship and idolizing, all that "work" you do, you want something in return from said idol. Anko had done everything to try impressing this man who entrapped her with lies. Whether it be demonstrating her knowledge as a growing ninja, or batting eyelashes in submission to his ugly dominance. She remembered that first night he taught her much more than just ninjutsus_. "I shall teach you...something much more meaningful. Something that only adults should know. I feel you are ready for it. Do you want to learn, Anko?" _Of course was her answer. She never thought to refuse someone. And when those hands were laid on her...confusing her and scaring her, she didn't stop the monster. Whatever feeling of fear and puzzlement evaporated quickly once something else began to stir and something rather enjoyable. Being as young as she was then, Anko could not truly grasp the concept of what this was...whether it was wrong or right. For her, she was so close to this monster, and even thought so deeply into this that he would love her.

Being abandoned hurt. After all her time and support for him...though inwardly she disagreed. Every touch he's gifted to her no matter how "dirty" or simple, every comforting word...everything was taken away when he attacked. Children were always afraid the boogeyman would capture them and kill them. Why else to hide under the covers? That fear was coming back again and the lack of trust was so infecting with his infliction. It hurt...the flames seared what felt like all over her body and not in that mysterious way. And then to be left alone...to retreat back into the closet after spending the night with a scared child...

"Don't go...please...I..."

Anko's eyes opened slightly, finding her breath labored, her heart racing like a mouse's. More oddly, she found herself rubbing in between her legs. Tears fell down her cheeks as she could still remember the dream in vivid detail. She could still_ feel_ him. And as much hate she had stocked, it was bordered with lust. Was it so odd to hate something with such animosity yet...still admire it? And hating so much to love it? Anko stopped her self pleasuring and got from her bed shakily. With a few seals, she made a perfect Kage Bunshin of herself and stood before it.

"Change."

The clone nodded and made its own handseals to transform into what Anko desired. With a poof, the clone had turn into the dream. At first, just the sight made Anko step back in surprise, making her heart skip a few beats. When the clone smiled with that visage...it was akin to blows. Anko had to get over it. What happened. Hesitant footsteps were taken to approach the figure. Slowly, her hand came up to touch the cold face. It was so smooth. Just as she remembered it was so many years ago. Why was something so beautiful so ugly? She imagined that if this was the true article...she might find herself shoved to the bed, his mouth on his ear. In a flash, that is just how Anko found herself. Pinned to the bed, gasping for air and staring at the clone, forgetting for the moment she controlled it.

"Off!"

Anko had forgot for the moment Kage Bunshin clones could read the mind of their maker and would act on it if not told otherwise. The clone stood back up straight, looking down at a startled Anko who was trying to catch her breath. Staring at the clone of said dream for some time, Anko gathered the courage to once again approach it. There was a resolve she was trying to maintain. The clone stood still, looking at her with eyes all too familiar to the kunoichi. Standing and gazing at this figure, she slid fingers through the long, black tendrils of silky hair. With serpentine eyes almost completely outlined by purple accent...a man who could be added up as the true reason why people are afraid of the dark. Anko chided herself, knowing that the real Orochimaru...would never let her come so close ever again. In her sick, little mind some voice in the back whispered...what a shame. All urges were willing her body to desire to hug, but even so, Anko denied herself such a pleasure. Nothing was the same. The monster snake everyone always feared and thought inhuman, she had loved as a child. And now, all feelings were mixed. There was still that love and longing for contact, but there was also that hatred, that raw and carnal emotion to kill the only person who had managed to scar her permanently. It was because of him Anko could never understand love, nor if she thought she felt it, pushed it away as quickly as possible. Everyone though. Not just her. Sasuke, Tsunade, Jiraiya, the Third...even his Sound nin who believed him without hesitation...he'd hurt them so much.

"When...will you pay? When will _you_ suffer...Orochimaru?"


End file.
